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Pamela Taeuffer
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Shadow Heart (Broken Bottle Series Book 1) Kindle Edition

by Pam Taeuffer (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
3.9 out of 5 stars 131
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What if you were afraid to even turn the doorknob to your front door when coming home because of what might wait inside? What would it take to make you step out of your shadows, to once and for all break free from the twisted security of familiarity, and take a chance, a little risk, that could change everything?

What if you could ask for what you want without being afraid? Could you trust another person that much? Could you trust yourself to ask it and be willing to hear the things you fear?

And what if you could truly begin to conquer those deep fears that hide inside you, allowing your heart to open, become vulnerable, and have the chance for real intimacy—the kind that allows another to come closer than you’ve ever let anyone before? What if you dared to be loved and because you did, you transitioned into joy?

My name is Nicky Young. This is my family saga and a love story that tells about the horrible, beautiful, twisted, amazing vulnerability of family dysfunction and how I overcame fears of abandonment and deep intimacy. Relationships were things to be held at a distance. When I learned to open my heart and trust another - and myself - I was able to really, really, be alive.

This story is about letting go of old fears, daring to love and transition into joy.

“I’m very excited about this book in the Broken Bottles Series by Pamela Taeuffer. As a family therapist for more than thirty years, it is my opinion these books are like no other. They offer you an inspiring adventure as well as a thoughtful journey towards trust and intimacy. Truly a stimulating and thought-provoking read.”
—Louise Monahan, M.S., MFT

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  1. Book 1 of 4
    Broken Bottle Series
  2. Print length
    338 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  5. Publication date
    February 17, 2014
  6. File size
    1587 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I'm very excited about this book in the Broken Bottles Series by Pamela Taeuffer. As a family therapist for more than thirty years, it is my opinion these books are like no other. They offer you an inspiring adventure as well as a thoughtful journey towards trust and intimacy.Truly a stimulating and thought-provoking read." - Louise Monahan, M.S., MFT
"The author does an amazing job of character development! You feel as if you're living Nicky Young's life, fearing for her, loving with her and charging her brave new world. What's remarkable is that her past doesn't dictate her future yet at times it can haunt her. Her constant realization of this and her ability to make life choices from it make it an exciting read. The second I finished the book, I picked up and started the next book in the series, Fire Heart! Move over Fifty Shades of Grey, this puts it to shame!" - Kindle Customer
"Such depth to the characters in this book and the storyline is one that so many of us can relate to. The dysfunction of families varies widely, and Nicky certainly had difficult obstacles to overcome because of her upbringing. Alcoholism is very real and I think this book offers readers who maybe have dealt with similar situations a very relatable book and a nice escape. This is not your typical girl-meets-boy-and-they-fall-in-love story. It is dark because of Nicky's past, and it feels very real." - LoveToRead

From the Author

Hello readers!I've held off making a comment about writing on this subject matters. It hits home, that's for sure. I lived it. Went through it every day. A few observations that seem to frustrate readers, from my experience only:1. As a child raised in an alcoholic family, I loved older men from the jump. I was always attracted to whoever might be the father figure and stability I longed for. It's not unusual for children of dysfunction to search out these kinds of relationships. Peers are still discovering themselves and that definitely was not what I wanted, nor is it what Nicky wants--at least as she's discovering herself. 2. Some readers have suggested the heroine is "juggling" romantic relationships. That isn't playing nor is it to be cruel. This is fear. She knows in her heart she'll be abandoned. It's what children of addiction fear because we have been abandoned.3. The beginning pages of the book give the reader several things each child of addiction knows for certain. These set the groundwork for her actions and reactions throughout.4. When growing up there was no one getting in my way. I cut people off before giving them a chance to get close, know me, find out my family's secret, and hurt me. The heroine lives by this mantra.It's frustrating as a reader, but I had to stay honest to my vision and experience. Thank you.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00IICDHO8
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Open Heart Books; 3rd edition (February 17, 2014)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ February 17, 2014
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1587 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 338 pages
  • Page numbers source ISBN ‏ : ‎ 0989952908
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.9 out of 5 stars 131

About the author

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Pamela Taeuffer

Pamela Taeuffer

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Pamela Taeuffer, Bio

I write Coming of Age, Young Adult, New Adult, and Women's Contemporary Fiction books. They are about letting go of fears, learning to love and forgive yourself so that your heart can open. It doesn't happen overnight. It's in the baby steps, taking a little risk to be vulnerable and intimate, which allows us to transition into joy. Contemporary literary fiction, family drama, teen issues and and coming of age are my genres. I also have begun an Introvert Series that tackle every day issues of self-esteem and being overly bashful.

Growing up in a family battling alcoholism showered me with a range of lasting fears including abandonment, feeling devalued and not good enough to be loved. The effects of that childhood were obesity and being afraid to love intimately. I knew as soon as I opened my heart completely, my lover or friend would leave me. Overcoming those fears has given me a passion to take the serious traumas of life--alcoholism, eating disorders, and brain injury, and tell them through an intimate love story, showing my readers how these events change us. Giving rise to fears of making healthy relationships not only with lovers, but family, friends, co-workers and even our own children because they'll shun us is missing out on the very essence of really being alive.

My message? It's only when we learn to trust ourselves, that we can trust others. When we take a chance to really open and become vulnerable, everything can change in ways we never saw or understood before. We have to jump and risk being hurt so we can move forward. And I'm here to tell you that sometimes . . . I was bruised and bleeding, when I took a chance, but those experiences helped me see how when I changed the way I reacted, I moved forward differently.

Sports, especially baseball, provide the backdrop to my first series, Broken Bottles. In Broken Bottles, the journey will travel over four parts and fourteen novels. Steep cliffs are at the end of each. Why did I do this? Because my sister and I never knew what we faced when coming home. Every day was a cliff. Besides . . . vivid, deep, sensual, intimacy, doesn't come over night.

The values I hope to give my readers from the Broken Bottles Series:

* Try to understand your friends differently if they've been children of an alcoholic family. They may not be able to openly love you, or hug you, or compliment you as often as you'd like, but they want to. They're desperately seeking someone who will be loyal and won't abandon them.

* Learn to forgive. Letting go of anger is the only way forward.

* Children of trauma are afraid to trust. Help them feel secure.

* Sex is beautiful. I was jaded and afraid for so long. I found it was nothing to fear or be ashamed of. It's a way to open our heart and its limits cannot be measured (at least in my experience). Both women and men could be so much more if the fear over good sex could be talked about and acted on openly and honestly.

I have and will have several works published including Shadow Heart, Fire Heart, Jagged Heart, and the final book of Part I of Broken Bottles, Amazing Heart. My first book in the non-fiction series for Introverts "Business Networking for Introverts," is available via kindle. A series about loving our bodies called "My Two Years as a Porn Star" and a series about traumatic brain injury, "Shattered but not Broken," is in the works as well.

I am a member of the California Writers Club, Romance Writers of America, Redwood Writers, and Healdsburg Literary Guild, WNBA-SF, BAIPA, and supports hundreds of author authors and readers through her social media and internet outreach.

All my books are written with an open heart. I hope my readers can read with the same open heart.

Web site: www.PamelaTaeuffer.com

Blog: www.PamelaTaeuffer.com/blog

E mail: PamelaTaeuffer@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pamela.taeuffer.9

Twitter: @PTaeufferAuthor

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ptaeuffer/broken-bottles/ShadowHeart

I'm also on Linked In and Google +

Customer reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
3.9 out of 5
131 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

tjrb02
5.0 out of 5 stars Great!
Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2016
Verified Purchase
I loved reading Shadow Heart by Pam Taeuffer. A coming of age story is always complicated on its own, but then you add the trauma of an alcoholic family member and you find yourself wrapped up in layers upon layers of protective aloofness. The main character Nicky has spent so much of her life trying to maintain control, to shape her future beyond where she has come from and what she has experienced. It all gets shaken up as she starts to come into herself and meeting someone who makes her rethink where she intends to go.

This is just the first book of the Broken Bottle series and it was so familiar to me, in the way that growing up has a way of challenging the ways you have always thought. I enjoyed the perspective and self-reflection Nicky goes through as she tries to not let her future be changed by her emerging feelings. So many books rush through exploring the changes of growing up and I was appreciative that the author spent ample amount of time developing the story. Life is far from being easy and the author does a good job of showing the challenges that Nicky has overcome and the plans that she is steadfastly pursuing.

Being the first book in a series, I knew that the entire story would not be resolved in this book alone. Not having the same kinds of trauma in my own life, it was eye-opening to go with the main character through the significant difficulties that she faced in her life. What a story of strength and working to rise above the things that you don't like about your past! I enjoyed reading this book from start to finish and am excited about reading what comes next for this wonderful character.

I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to read a interesting story and get drawn into a love story in its early stages. I will be looking for more Pam Taeuffer books!
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Sandra-d
4.0 out of 5 stars Yes, it is worth the read!
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2014
Verified Purchase
Thank you to Netgalley and the author/publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

The first few chapters of this book were hard for me – reading about the alcoholism and abuse the character grew up in was difficult from the perspective that one can picture how sad and wrong that it is for any child, and because one knows that there are far too many children out there who have that as a reality for them. Because of this, I had a hard time getting engaged in the book and the character as I was expecting a “romance novel”. I kept reading and quickly became hooked in seeing how Nicky’s life would unfold – impressed that she really seemed to pull herself together and did amazing things with herself from an academic and future-plan perspective. I would like to think that her character and strength are within and available to all young adults, especially those from unfortunate backgrounds, but I am a bit too cynical for that, thinking that Nicky is one-of-a-kind. Nonetheless, I am hopeful that this character inspires at least a few people, regardless of their background, to see the possibilities of life and take action toward goal fulfillment and success. I also love a story that champions a girl with morals and who isn’t afraid or ashamed of remaining pure, even under pressure to do otherwise.

Ryan – he is too good to be true! Is it realistic for a superstar athlete who is rich, gorgeous, and has everything and everyone he wants available to him to actually both think and feel these things, let alone share them with anyone out loud? Again, the cynic in me screams NO, but the part of me that loves a good romance and the way that reading a story can transport me to the excitement of the moment has me loving every last interaction of these two characters. The physical part of their relationship is minimal and not overly graphic in this book, yet the way Pamela writes had me fully engaged in the growing passion…I thought it was very well written!

My two main dislikes about this book? First, enter the third character, Jerry. While I may have been rooting for Jerry under other circumstances and in an entirely different storyline, I find myself disliking his character, especially when his seemingly sole focus is to be bedding Nicky (and are there others he’s working on too?). And, as much as I hate to criticize too-good-to-be-true Ryan, I hate that he is willing to help Nicky’s family and friends only if she consents to a relationship with him. While part of me understands his explanation for it, the bigger part of me thinks this is just a bad message to put out there.

In summary, from starting with serious and sobering subject matter to a blossoming romance that kept me turning the pages and wanting oh-so-much-more, I definitely recommend this book! Can’t wait to get started on the next one …
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Deborah Kelly
3.0 out of 5 stars Good Read!
Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2015
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3.5 stars
A coming-of-age romance between an eighteen year old girl from a dysfunctional family and a twenty-six year old pro baseball player sounds like an accident waiting to happen but Pamela Taeuffer pulls it off...sort of. This is the first in a series about Nicky and Ryan after all. I will have to read the others to find out the full story and if they make it. I kept waiting for the 'ewww' factor that never came. "Shadow Heart" was a sweet romance that also dealt with the trauma of alcoholism and the fallout that had within a family, not only for the one afflicted but for all the family members.
At times I loved Nicky. Her sweet innocence and vulnerability were enchanting. I admired her drive and strength in the face of her father's addition and her dysfunctional family. At other times I just wanted to shake her. She was a confusing mix of mature-for-her-age little girl and aren't-you-too-old-for-this-nonsense young woman. Her advance then retreat with Ryan and Jerry was a sweet tease at first. But it soon became irritating to watch her indecisiveness. I get why she was afraid to commit to Ryan. The agony of living with an addicted family member - not to mention one who is supposed to take care of you - has got to weigh on you greatly and color all of your decisions and cause you to make choices in order to protect yourself. Ryan was a dream - almost too good to be true. I can't wait for round two in Fire Heart to see if he stays true to his character and to Nicky. Jerry, her childhood friend, seemed equally qualified as prime boyfriend material. Tough choice. Good read.
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Top reviews from other countries

Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars great
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 13, 2014
Verified Purchase
Loved this book best book I have read in ages. Can't wait for next one to see what choices she will make
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xisca morell
1.0 out of 5 stars awful
Reviewed in Spain on March 28, 2014
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Passionless narrative, boring to tears and old-fashioned style. I wouldn't recommend it to anybody. No boundaries are pushed in this book, other than your patience...
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Jenny
3.0 out of 5 stars good But.....
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 26, 2014
Verified Purchase
This has been on my to read list for a while. It is very well written but the content I found myself cringing sometimes with the dialogue between Nicky and Ryan.
I just couldn't find it believable the relationship that they had. Will probably still read the 2nd book to see where the story goes.
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